Narcissistic abuse is devastating. Any and all of it. Narcissists leave untold damage to be healed and dealt with by those they claim to “love”. Narcissists have no idea what healthy love is. For many women the first Narcissistic Personality Disordered misogynist they fall prey to is their father.
The scapegoat child needs to recognize what has happened to them and why. They need to learn the carry over effects of this legacy of pain in their adult lives to heal and to stop being re-scapegoated, bullied, harassed and targeted.
Healing from the abuse of someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very painful process. Not as painful as being abused is, however. It is a necessary though so that your mental and physical health is not diminished and negatively effected. So many loved ones or family members of those with BPD and/or NPD are in so much pain as the result of the level and frequency of abuse they are on the receiving end of from these personality disordered people in their lives.